looking into his eyes

This past weekend, I went and saw my uncle, cousins, and grandfather.

I had not seen them since August or maybe even earlier. Regardless, it had been a long time..

When I walked in the front door, I almost  did not recognize the man I saw sitting there looking back at me. The man I knew was happy, smiled, looked healthier than he was now, would strike up conversations and was sure of himself, his actions and his words. The man sitting there had aged 10 years in a mere few months. His hair was long, teeth missing, he was paler, shaking, nervous, moved slowly, was thin, spoke slowly, had to really think about his actions. This was not my grandfather, this was not the man I remembered..

A lot has happened for him over the past few months.. he no longer has his business, he is by himself except for when my uncle and cousins are there. He doesn’t have his late wife or his girlfriend around anymore, he is lonely and doesn’t get out. He doesn’t seem to have a reason to care for himself anymore. Maybe he really didn’t work to hard at the shop, but it was a reason for him to get up each day and to care about his appearance, to go out and to interact with people.. now he doesn’t have that.

I looked into his eyes, and a small part of him might be there, but he’s not the man I know or remember..

We all need a reason to live.. a reason to take care of ourselves, otherwise we start to slowly slip away. I found mine, I hope he will find something to hold onto..

 

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